podrey is sick!
39.0c, runny nose and a wonky voice.
:(
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ROAR.
I am back in school!
These few days, I've been trying to plan stuff. Getting damn frustrated and all la, trying to accomodate everybody. >:( It's a hard job. :(
I am lacking in funds! Thank goodness February only has 28 days. :)
I miss the old days. Headbanging, jamming, blasting loud music, lying in the park gazing at stars, pon-ing classes to go to Thomson.
Now it seems hardly anyone has time for me anymore. Books, work, other.... commitments. I miss being carefree, just missing class cause you feel like it. Going to play pool because books stink and you deserve a break. Now everything comes at a price. Wanna watch a movie? There goes 3 days worth of meals. How 'bout missing school? Go ahead, get yourself debarred.
This holiday, I shall spend good quality time with her, my bass guitar and my family. Cause they're the people that will give something back to me, the people that make me feel happy, without doing something to please them first.
And I know that I won't be judged for the actions that I take for being my own person.
I miss that semi-charmed life.
Holiday Resolutions.
- Get Dad's acoustic FINALLY fixed,
- Learn acoustic and not give up!
- Play w/ Bong
Here's a tribute to the golden days. Cheers.
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Hi!
Today marks 365 days with my Darling! :D
I woke up at 2! Ate instant Mee Pok and bathed. Took like, 2 and a half hours to get ready, lol. Wore my new Topshop earrings! :)
Darling picked me up at the opposite block with white roses! SQUEAL! 12 to be exact. One for each month. :)
We cabbed down to Paragon, then walked a little.
And she brought me to Pete's Place at the Grand Hyatt for dinner! :) It was lovely! It was at the basement, the restraunt was decorated like a wine cellar! I felt like I was really in Italy for that lovely 2.5 hours. :) While waiting for our food, she sneakily slipped a ring on my finger! On the wrong hand though. Hahaha. :)
We had Seafood Chowder! Delicious. It actually had REAL seafood in it! Clam, squid (cannot say sotong! it's too high class to be called sotong!), crab, corn and potatoes. Sounds like a weird combination, but it's actually really, really good! The soup came with focaccia bread, and you should've seen my face when I bit into it. It was like tasting a piece of heaven - crispy yet moist and soft on the inside, with butter bursting between the layers of heaven.
For our main course, Darling had Lasagne, and I had Pizza Quattro Formaggi. Four cheese pizza! We were super full, but we still had Vanilla Creme Brulee! OMG my favourite! :) You could actually see that they used real vanilla pods/seeds. MMM. Haiyah, but we were too full to really enjoy it. Hahaha. :)
Talked more over mocktail (lol.) We were so suaku! Under "Pete's Mocktail" was a list of ingredients that they used to make the mocktail "Cranberry juice, sweet and sour cordial, lime juice etc." Darling and I happily asked for Lime Juice and Sweet and Sour Cordial respectively. Lol! Suaku.
Went to shop around after dinner. Got Darling that hat from Topshop, and she got me undies! :D Couldn't shop much cause all the shops closed already. Hahaha. :) She sent me home and we took photos at the void deck. Lol.
Sorry la, I felt shy to whip out my camera and take photos of food cause the place was so classy. I felt like a frog in a ballroom. Didn't know which utensil was for which, or how to put my napkin, or.. or... Where the bread was! >.<
But the food was excellent as compared to Billy Bomber's at V'day. The bill came up to $88.50 here, but it was more expensive at Billy's. So worth it! Billy's service/food totally sucked. The steak was like, WHALE and the staff didn't know a thing about the menu. But at Pete's, the service was really great. Everyone smiles and the Maitre'd even stops by and chats with you about the food. :) The food of course, is the best I've ever tasted.
I had such a lovely day/night! :) Feeling extra, extra happy now! -floats. :D
Night!
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Hey! It's SUNDAY!
FRIDAY!
Went to school! :) It was Computing. That's just a nicer name for A Maths period. Problem was about Frequency. Omgah I could do it! Left at 12 and met Darling. We went to Queens and made Feli's birthday present! :)
Met FCC at Far East's Subway. We went to Wheelock and got Jan-knee's phone fixed! Then walked around, and went to Citylink in search of Lena's cute guy. Hahaha! Shopped yet again and went to Marche to celebrate Feli's birthday! Mmmmm. Caramel Banana Crepe/Crab/Crap/Creepy!
Walked around, Darling and Feli left, Sze, Lena, Char and I Starbucks-ed!
I love talking!
SATURDAY!
I woke up late! Supposed to wake up at 8, but I woke up at 10. Lucky anyway, if not Darling would be tired. Lol. Made scrambles and bread while she bathed, and took a bus down to MPCC. I missed the bus stop TWICE because I forgot to press the bell TWICE. >.<>
Had Banana Muffin and Apple Strudel at Starbucks. Then studied at the Kid's Section. Hahaha. Okay FINE, I studied like, an hour, then I fell asleep. >.<>
Went to town, then passed Char her stuff, and she passed me mine. Then went home.
SUNDAY!
I woke up like, freaking late! Yay! Sat around and watched tv with my sister til like, 430. Hahaha! Hey! Cable's good okay!
Watched High School Stories, AND Homewrecker! OMG GENIUS! (Oh yah, and what happened to Rich Girls? And I missed Bam! >.<)
Bathed and went to Ikea. And I got plastic thingies to put my thingies in! Whoopdiedoo!
Had ballsssss for dinner! :) Mmmm yum. And wingsss! (Don't ask me why the extra ssss's. I'm feeling extra happy!)
Andrea and I ganged up to punk Mummy! We used the public phone to call her, and then she thought someone was actually calling her. She looked up and saw us giggling. Hahah! Busted. Her face was so constipated. Want to laugh/don't want to laugh/must look angry kind. Hahaha!
Hahahah! Okay! I'm feeling extra extra happy!
It's my ONE YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Okay, okay, I'm sorry for the lack of updates. The ones that actually make sense of course!
I didn't go to school the entire week. I was planning to go today. But last night, I went to check my daily grade for Cognitive. Fuck, got a C. That seriously ruined it. I fucking hate school. Fuck. (Ya la, I have limited vocabulary.)
HOWEVER! I promised Darling if she'd let me pon one last time, I'll be in school for 2 consecuitive weeks.
So I sit here, devouring my Taiwan Mochi, and... Nothingness.
Maybe this is what the lack of school does to your brain.
I just see no bloody reason how school helps me to learn. I waste my time there. I might as well waste my time and enjoy it.
I've fallen into that bottomless pit.
Blah! I never had this problem in PL0103? I loved everyday of school. I really did.
I'm praying, so hard that I get into TP. I hope you'll pray for me too.
I envy Darling. I love homework. I like projects.
:"(
Nothing's going right.
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What the fucking fuck is wrong with the bloody world?!
I just came back from store meeting. And neither Ray or I got Learning Coach. OR Coffee Master.
What the hell!??!?!
ARGH!!!!! Everyone was sure that we were gonna get it! Even Miss Know-It-All.
She doesn't know her way around things. And I bet she scraped through her Bar Test with a 0.001%. What the hell is up?! My God! The trainees are like, ten times better than her. Darling and I are like, senior there. And we didn't fucking get it!? That is not fair. So what if we work like once a week. Fish Schtick. I know my stuff better than her and I can darned well be a better LC/CM.
RARGHHHH!!!!!!!
It's not fair!
ARGHHH!!!!!! Is the management BLIND?!?!
I hate it.
RARRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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my right eye's been hurting. it feels like someone punched it or something. it's damn sore and it hurts to open it.
it hurts bad,
but not as much as my heart.
*
Yesterday, my facilitator wrote for our RJ:
"What is your greatest weakness?"
I think I've finally got the answer.
I blame myself too much. For every single little thing, I blame myself for every thing that goes wrong. For every little thing that happens. I'm hardest on myself for everything. It's me who puts myself down the most.
I give in too easily. I don't stand up for myself. I'm a pushover. I'm too nice.
It's been a gift.
But it's beginning to become a curse.
I hate myself for this.
"If I'm ugly, then so are you."
*
People ask,
"Hey, why DO you listen to such loud music? Can you even hear what they're saying?"
Music's always been important to me. It's my friend when I'm happy. It's there for me when I'm sad. It consoles me. Sometimes it can even get me emotional.
Hardly anything comes close to drowining in music, listening to how it all comes together so beautifully. Feeling the raw emotions all penned down into a song. I love to drown in music. Just listening to it, singing to it, feeling it.
I admit, sometimes I don't know the words. Well, it doesn't matter. It's amazing how meanings can translate and get to you through music. It's intangible, but I can feel it.
As for why my music's loud? I guess I sometimes have too much going on in me, and it takes screaming, fast beats and angry sounds to get it out and make me at peace with all that's happening.
Hey not all music I listen to's loud okay. I listen to The Corrs sometimes. Maroon 5's slow. Oh yes, and how could I forget RCC? :)
*
Anyway, I've been meaning to write about this for quite a long time.
Clubbing. Fuck man, I haven't even been clubbing and I hate it already. What's all this rush to go anyway?
The way I see it, correct me if I'm wrong, the cycle goes kinda like this.
People get all dolled up and wear next to nothing. The girls put on what seems like 3 miles of make up on their already porcelain-perfect faces. The guys don't have to bother with the nitty gritties. After all, the girls are the ones who steal the show.
They flag a cab ($10 gone!) and wait in queue for about what, 2 hours? (Haha I know! I love to exaggerate!) Pay yet another what, $15 (!!!) JUST to get in.
Order up a drink! Ka-Ching! Yet another $15(!!!!!!) gone, just like that. You "dance" and get high, without noticing the 92340234048 guys groping your ass. Ka-ching ka-ching ka-ching!! 3 more drinks and you've spent yet another $45 dollars. Gee! That would take me 10 hours to earn!
By your 5th drink, you've spent a hundred dollars. The world around you spins and you don't know whats happening. You've made out with 3/4 of the people there and you're looking for the next victim. Man, you're piss drunk now. You can barely get up, and no one wants to tongue you cause they're afraid of getting your barf on their new Armani shirt.
Plonk, out you go. Crap, the bouncer has kicked you out! Now what do you do?
With one heel broken from trying to hump the hot guy with the goatee, you stumble into a cab. $30 gone once you reach your doorstep. Damn that midnight surcharge!
Using all your strength you can muster, you finally fit the key in the lock and actually manage to open it! A big improvement from last week! You head straight for the toilet (cistern of course) and puke your brains out. Forget that bath man. The toilet is now your new bed - you'll be camping out tonight.
"Eh?"
Your dad finds you, head in the bowl and smelly from a combination of alcohol, vomit and cigarette. Your head hurts and you don't remember a thing from last night besides the colour of your puke, and that pungent cigarette/rum odour.
That isn't the way I want to spend my Friday/Saturday nights/mornings, with my head in the toilet, a massive headache and being smelly from smoke. Then 2 days later, finding out from your friends how many guys you grinded that night.
Like I said, I haven't been clubbing, I haven't been near a club, and already, I can't stand like 80% of the people who I know club. The music doesn't get to me anyway, and I hate my hair smelling like fag.
I'm not denying. I do want to experience it. But after tons of thinking, I don't see what that draw is. To spend heaps of cash, get wasted, taken advantage of and not remember a single thing that happened the night before. Don't get me wrong, do it if you'd like to. I'm just not that kinda girl.
Now seriously, someone come and enlighten me.
*
ben and jerry's cravings!
Had B&J after school yesterday! Packed Choc Chip Cookie Dough and New York Super Fudge Chunk into one! MMMM. :) That was the main course. And we had Bak Chang and Pineapple Rice for dessert.
Had a great time shopping and all! :) Eyeing shoes from Daniel Yam! They have a name! Lee Yam Yam. Lol. Nice dark blue with strappy tying thingies. 40$. But I'm not sure if I'm gonna buy it though. I need cash for my cupboards. Haha!
And today, Darling and I went to Clementi to collect stuff. Went to Queensway to see my bag, but it had scratches and the shopkeeper refused to take out a new one. Went bagsy hunting, and .... No where else stocks my bag in the colour I want. :"(
Going bagsy hunting again tomorrow.
Darling's chasing me to sleep.
Til then!
Au Revoir!
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Picture Post!
Sorry for the weirdish, orange tint. =/ Yesterday's dinner at Soup Restaurant United Square! :)
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I am BORED BoRED boRED BoRed Bored BORED bored bOreD.
And kinda cold.
FREAKING hungry though.
=/
Oh hey, 9th Feb is round the corner. Gonna apply for TP soon. I hope I get in. School here stinks. It really does. No mood to do anything at all. There's no need for me to do anything actually. I got answers from Char, and err. We're just gonna modify it, and.. Pretend we know shit.
Thanks for fetching me to school dear! :)
Thank God for earphones. :D Kittie wuv.
Just ranting ON AND ON.
=/
HUNGRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.
:"(
Listening to 3 Small Words now. hahahhaa!!
Today is an odd, giggly, happy, weird, morbid day.
I love you darling!
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