Sunday, May 21
heya.
i've been thinking A LOT about the past, people who used to matter, the bitches, the present, what's gonna happen next...
i guess it was nice to have something to look forward to every Friday, to meet them, y'know. just hang out and be yourself, do crazy dumb things that you'll remember for life. or maybe just chill at starbucks and chat and all. well, it was that friday that put all that to an end.
at times i wish i was a wuss, just apologise and let everything go back to normal.
but i guess i'm just not that kinda person anymore. i don't want to let people have their way. i want it mine, and i'll get it.
but at the spur of the moment, everything happened. and it came with consequences. consequences that... i think everyone saw coming. no amount of talk, or even action is gonna undo what was done. and it's sad, just cause of a few hours, friendships of 4 or more years was gone.
and it's just left me in a state of confusion. god, i don't know if i should care, if i should hate. of course, a small part of me still does. but everytime that part of me appears, the devil inside me says, why care when they don't?
they say time will heal all wounds. yes, probably. it's likely that in a year or two, i'll be looking back at this and i'll say "hey, maybe it wasn't such a big a deal after all." or maybe i'll look back and wish it never happened.
after all, i spent so much time growing up with them. i treated them better than i treated my own family. and for a few years, i really believed that i couldn't be luckier, cause i had the best friends in the world.
but now, things have totally changed. i have a girlfriend now. a really great one, i must say. she's more than a friend. someone that's friend, family, accomplice, companion, cheerleader, ally, foe and above all, lover, all rolled into one. it's our 15th today, and i'm feeling extremely happy that we've come so far, and that i know this is just the beggining.
yet in all this immense happiness, there's always gonna be a part of me that's left behind, that wishes to be back in 2005, living in the memories of the past and what it used to be.
i'm sorry to those who don't understand all this metaphorical crap that i've just typed. :) forgive me.
dear bitches, i ♥ you all!
dear E26Q, i ♥ you guys!
dear mummy, i ♥ you!
dear char, i ♥ you!
dear sze, i ♥ you!
dear darling, i &hearts you! :) thank you for today, and everyday.
dear people-from-the past, you'll be in my ♥.
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