okay, where were we world?
ah yes. the past week since the holidays started has been nothing but hectic! work, work, work. my black apron's growing on me! :) i'm getting smarter day by day and thinking of climbing higher to become a district coffee master teehee! :)
meanwhile, my bangkok trip is confirmed, though not booked. :( thats sad. anyway, i'll be going on an extremely tight budget. gah hate it! at least i'll be right back in bangkok yay! shopshopshopshop til you drop!
speaking of shopping, darling bought me new heels! :D mwah!
yup yup. a few nights ago a dreamt that i got my tongue pierced. man it was damn realistic! could practically feel the barbell in my tongue. hahah but the piercing didn't hurt! lol. and now i really want it. :( the first ever piercing that i wanted and i don't have it! rar! :(
plus it just hit me that i'll be 18 in a matter of 3 weeks. that really is kinda cool, but i don't want it to last forever! i liked being 17!
anyway, met chris and mike at PS the other day. was really nice to see old friends, even if it only was for 5 minutes. :) doubt they'd be reading this anyway. but that really put a smile on my face.
it's 3:46, i should really be sleeping.
ciao.
*
jesus, it's been a fucking bad day.
let's just... disappear.
*
i felt a surge of nostalgia.
and i dug these up.
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i wanna take more... :(
*
okay, it's 4 am and i am not the least bit sleepy!
fine, maybe a TAD, but it's only a teensy weensy bit. :)
had work today. four hours of hand-cramping, smile-plastered-on-face, being-polite-but-inwardly-cursing, excruciatingly boring hours of mooncake sampling! >:(
experiencing all those cheapos just practically stealing all those samples makes me really embarrassed to be a singaporean at times. some people actually pretend to listen to me yak and then just make off with the tiny pieces of heaven. chao cheebye! it was four hours of seat/water/food deprived work okay! make me waste my bloody breath only.
had "dinner" and went to look look see see.
yup, strolled around and guess what darling and i er, lookedlooked sawsaw?
EMMA!
who was innocently getting her piercing and HAHA BOY WAS SHE BRAVE!
:)
okay, i shall now do more mindless friendster user profile vouyering and stuff.
maybe i'll fall asleep soon.
ta!
*
fuck man, lava if you hate me, just say so leh!
in school today.
had a great time with darling yesterday! :) one and a half years man. yay and i got my rook pierced! and hp almost made it a double piercing cause of some freak accident.
hope it'll turn out good anyway! :) hoping it won't die on me again!
lol just presented and sat next to lava. i've never realised how... LARGE he was.
hungry hungry!!!!!!
yay going to darling's to watch top model later.
mwah today is a happy day!
*
fuck man, lava if you hate me, just say so leh!
in school today.
had a great time with darling yesterday! :) one and a half years man. yay and i got my rook pierced! and hp almost made it a double piercing cause of some freak accident.
hope it'll turn out good anyway! :) hoping it won't die on me again!
lol just presented and sat next to lava. i've never realised how... LARGE he was.
hungry hungry!!!!!!
yay going to darling's to watch top model later.
mwah today is a happy day!
*
i
want
to
PIERCE!
*
my reply for a certain facilitator's evaluation.
The facilitator can improve by…
. telling us exactly what "the real world" is, and not expecting us to be as if we are in "the real world", when we really do not have any clue. Students come to learn and to find out, facilitators are here to help us guide us and help prepare us for this "real world".
bang, bang, BANG.
*
so it's sunday.
saturday was spent rotting in GEMS class, with a bunch of other partners, all of which whom i don't know.
went down to store and got my store's thingy done. :)
came home at 12+ after waiting for half a fucking hour for the bus.
slept at 2 plus.
supposed to be at GEMS this morning, but darling didn't wake me.
spent my "morning", meaning 530 til now, eating my day old carrot cake, ribena, reading the life section of the papers and then blog surfing.
gonna bathe now.
cheers to a mundane sunday.
*
me "darling, you said you will always support me in whatever i decide to do right?"
darling "yah."
me "so if my life's ambition is to become a tai-tai, then you have no choice but to support me and help me to fufill my life's ambition as a tai-tai by giving me more money to go shopping, RIGHT?"
darling "YOU AH!"
*
we're yet again reaching the end of sem 1.
seriously, i'm really, really sad to leave this class.
god knows why everyone else in STA, facilitators included, hate us.
i've been trying to think of reasons why people would hate us, and the only reason would be that if you can't be us, then you just hate us.
it's been a great 14 weeks, and i really hate to leave. :( i know half the time i've been missing class, but it's been great being here! :)
i feel so sad that i have to leave, and face the big bad world of the rest of the STA. unfortunately, change is a must here, no matter how much i hate it to be.
i'm in the midst of the change.
becoming more mature, older, wiser.
i'm leaving the old, juvenile, kiddish me and i like it.
each snip cuts the old memories and throws them away, leaving them behind,
each new day is like a wave, it brings new memories to shore and washes away the old ones, dragging them into the sea, never to be found again.
you and i know that those times will never come back.
nothing can change the way that things are now
nothing can ever bring it back to shore.
no one ever intended for it to go that way i'm hoping
but now that it has, i can only sit
no doubt it has changed me to depths unimaginable.
perhaps it's the cause for this change.
but still,
i'm changing
maybe for the better
hopefully not for the worse
arrivederci my friends.
maybe, someday, you'll see the old me back again.
*
hey, i am in school again!
today our class is doing national day. we're all in red and white. lol. i wore a red ribbon as a belt with my white top and shorts to avoid looking ike a flag.
seriously. yawn!
some people are so action.
i'm getting my hair done on thursday! dark and white chocolate, hopefully? :)
i miss darling.
*
i am bored.
woke up at 5 today, so pretty obviously missed school.
i slept way too much, now i can't get to sleep!
plus i've got to wake up at 7 tmr, gonna coach some big shot guy coming to join starbucks.
hmmm.
i've got nothing to do.
i wanna go out!
i wanna do new things!
shopping! tanning!
god i sound like a total brainwashed bimbo!
i wanna eat fried tofu!
please?
*
whoopdeedo
i just spent a day lazing around with darling at her club,
tanning,
jumping into the water when it gets too cold,
devouring chicken wings,
drinking coke,
swimming 7.82 laps,
falling asleep,
cam whoring,
and finally, the jacuzzi.
mmmmmmmmm
i feel like a true tai-tai.
:D
*
sometimes i wonder if i'm a dispensable human being.
i wonder if i just suddenly go on to that happy place called heaven, will people miss me? will they remember me? will they wish that i was still alive?
i don't mean i want to be a person like lee kwan yew, gain Singapore's independance and made Singapore successful and what not. i don't wanna be a celebrity either.
i just want to know if i've changed anyone's life, if people will come to my funeral and discuss the great things about me.
or if i am dispensable. if no one will remember me. if i am just one ordinary singaporean out of the 4 million others.
:(
will you remember me?
*
what a fucking bad morning
i didn't charge my phone. the battery died and there was no alarm.
woke up to dad screaming "you like that, might as well not go to school ah!"
mum refused to drive me to school or to the mrt.
had to take a cause it's hwee ling teaching today. i took 14 dollars to get here.
i opened the door and the first thing i saw was hwee ling's newly shaven head.
she looks so... ROUND.
on another note.
i am just feeling so down and all.
i just feel like running to orchard and getting a tattoo.
there was a false alarm that we had to retake the past modules that we scored D for. which isn't fucking fair!
well we don't have to anyway. not unless you got less than 2.0 for your GPA.
history of the arts.
poo.
can't my parents just accept me for the free spirit that i am? i am happy the way that i'm living my life. i don't steal, kill, drink, smoke or stick my head in the toilet every week. yes i do come out late and i don't talk to them much.
who can i blame but them? everything that they've done and are doing is driving me away from them, to find solace outside and escape from everything that's happening.
just love me for who i am.
*
