i think i did bad for film.
:(
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YAWN!
It's now 2nd breakout, and I am supposed to be doing work, BUT I AM NOT.
Why? Cause today is Film. And Podge sucks at Film. :( Boooo! Oh but anyway, it's a bit interesting cause it's like partially about photography as well? Like, depth of field, long shot, narrow shot blablabla technical stuff, Cinematography to be exact, and... It's so damn bloody dry and technical!
I try and try and try to like watch out for the technical stuff in the clips they gave, but I can't help but ending up watching the movie instead of analysing it. :( Awww. I suck! I'm just going to go with my gut feeling on what's best. :( I hope that works.
Plus I'm like currently addicted to RHCP. They are the greatest band of all time. :)
No one in my team is talking, they're all analysing. And I am blogging. I feel so bad!
Oh and it's lunch time, but there's no time to eat, cause I wasted it away. Plus there's work to be done. :(
RHCP makes me feel like playing bass again! :) Only I SUCK.
Haiya why does no one tag?
Oh anyway, I really enjoyed Yoga, even though people laugh at me for going. :(
Bye!
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You wanted pictures? :) The little IJ Girl cookies! *
I'm freaking bored in class right now.
I wanted to really work today, but.. Didn't get the chance to.
Year 2 isn't easy, at all. It's challenging and wants you to create stuff in a click. But yet it's so fun. The world is your clipboard, go ahead and do whatever you want.
All this 830-4 everyday stuff is so draining. And I still have that dumb store meeting later. I know it's for the Coffee Master and Learning Coach and all, but the, somehow, a part of me thinks that I can't do it, that I'm not good enough for this.
Right now I'm just listening to my songs, giving myself a little 'me' time. This year is gonna be tough. So much to do, so little time. I'm a little overwhelmed by it all. Somehow I can't believe I've come this far. From that geeky little IJ girl who never felt like she had a place, to the bigger, but still geeky and weird IJ girl in secondary school.
I've gone through so many phases in life. From being out of place, not fitting in, to really, really feeling happy and accepted, and then loosing it all again.
It's amazing don't you think? That I still have everything together.
Maybe it's better that I'm being overwhelmed, so that everything doesn't set in and I don't have to face the facts, like that my family's torn, like that hate/angry/disgusted/disappointed/sad/lonely relationship I have with people who used to matter.
I'm taking Yoga this Tuesday night! That's something to look forward to. Loosing weight. I heard Yoga soothes the mind. Hopefully it'll help me be more at peace with myself, and learn to accept that God put me through this for a reason.
Since school's started, I hope I'll return to church. Everything else might be perfect, but sometimes there's just that hole there, and that space can only be filled by God. :)
After all this shit I've been through, hey, maybe I'm a stronger person than I thought I was. Dad's always said I was weak cause I cry too easily. Me thinks I'm just too soft hearted. I'm just nice, but I can be strong. It's just hidden underneath it all.
I'm getting my hair dyed again on Wednesday. Colouring it Coral Pink! Darling's colour. I wonder how it'll turn out. I think Pure Purple Power is great on me. :) But y'know, just, for a change.
Darling's out with Saph now. The bitches are still busy doing their problems and all. Yawn.
Maybe I shall go blog surf.
Hooray! Blogging therapy.
:) See ya.
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Hello!
Spent the entire of yesterday baking. -_-"
Well it's all for a good cause. My sister's having a Bake Sale err, about now, and all the proceeds are going to OLGC's building fund. :) For 7 hours, we baked and baked and baked, Choc chip cookie-lollipops and cute little IJ-girl gingerbread girls.
That was the most I've baked in my entire life man. Doing all the stupid icing and all, damn tedious! I did every little single tiny pinafore. lol. :)
Other than that, I pretty much did nothing the entire day. But you'd be surprised, it's actually really really tiring! I fell asleep almost immediately last night. I have photos, but I didn't bring my camera today. :( awww.
You know what, I can't wait to go shopping. Retail therapy ♥
But for now, I'm in class and I'm gonna work hard today! Love!
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Yawn... -stretch. It's Sunday, and I'm at home. :)
I like spending days at home, just on my bed, surfing the net, blogging, what not.
Yayyy Mummy's gonna get 294723047290843 different types of vouchers from 2903472942784 places! Kudos to credit card bills/points. :) Then I can go shopping! FOR FREE! :D I'm so excited already!
But, :( mummy's using the Best Denki vouchers to get a new TV, so I won't be able to get a new phone. She won't even spare me $200. :( Hopefully since she's upgrading her line soon, I can psycho her into getting me a new phone and all. :( Or maybe I can get Daddyyy to get more Best Denki vouchers.
I want a new phone!
:( I'm turning into one of those... Shopping-crazy, self-obsessed biatches! Oh no! But I really love shopping...
Anyway, I had thoughts about quitting my job yesterday. I wanna like spend my days off school relaxing and all, not working, slogging my ass out.
But at the same time, money doesn't just roll out from under my bed. I've gotta work for it. I want to work more this Sem since I've got my Wednesdays off. But I'll be so so so so so tired :(
Plus, we're finally going for CMC. It's such a waste to give that up. :( Cos I know we can do it!
TP hasn't called yet. I wonder if they will. Yet I hope they won't. I don't know.
It's 1 and it's lunchtime, but I haven't had breakfast! Cause I don't have anything tempting at home! I want scones! MMMMM!!
Okay, see ya!
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Hi! I've had an excellent day today.
I'm really starting to believe I can do well in STA. Really. I love the class. I love the problems. I love the campus, albeit the ulu-ated-ness and the stupid wireless which isn't really okay. It made me restart like 5 times today?
I'm really glad that I like this class. To be completely honest, I didn't quite like my previous class. They made me hate school, want to leave, pon school, change school etc.
And if I'm not able to get into TP, that's one less problem I have to face then, since I'm currently loving being in E26Q. The bitches and Darling especially, get to hear me rant about how excellent and great school was. It really is. I'm enjoying it.
But that creates another problem.
What if I get into TP? Which school am I gonna choose? The school that I've been whining about for so long and pining and whining and has internships, or the SPANKING NEW COOL AS ASS school that I enjoy.
Hmmm. This calls for an FMT.
Anyway, today was Luke Chen for Digital Media Arts. Super cool la. Read the RJ.
"What is Art to you?
Art to me is something visual, something that is produced and requires effort to create, like paintings, sculptures, pictures films and plays.
It not only has to be aesthetically pleasing to the eye, but also, it has to have certain significance behind it, especially for the person who created it. I don’t think that art should have a particular reason; art to me has a lot to do with feelings, emotion and intimacy. If you’ve never experienced emotions, it would be difficult to appreciate art and the emotion behind it.
Perhaps the art form most familiar to me would be photography. I love the way capturing still objects can portray certain moods, how a black and white picture can convey feelings of moodiness, or how bright, vibrant colors can do the exact opposite. It’s also amazing how photos can impact you; take for example the picture of the Afghan Girl in 1985 impacted the world, or a simple photograph can capture time and relay information as seen in the news.
Photography’s my passion, my friends get irritated with me when I sometimes come to a halt and take pictures of random things. I really want to turn this passion into a living, and maybe one day, I’ll get to share my “babies’ with the world! :)"
I guess another reason that I love photography so much, is because I've never been good at anything. Photography's the only thing that I truly think I'm good at, and it gives me such satisfaction when I look at the photos and wonder, hey, was it really me who took all those pictures? I'm so proud that I have talent in Photography, something I never knew I had. I'm so proud, and I wanna make it a living. :)
Okay! Off to bed, I have a free day tomorrow! Unlike Siti/Anna. :D
anna? anna-told-me? anna-tomy? anatomy?
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Hi! I'm a Year 2! :D
I feel so arty-farty and picturesque-y today. I just want to snapsnapsnap.
Shutter-happy.
Class is so cold, and I miss Darling many.
The canteen doesn't sell coke! I hate it! >:( How can you not have Coke! Coke is like waaaaaay better than Pepsi can. Pepsi is 2-syllables, but Coke is monosyllabylic! So when you ask the Auntie for "Coke" you don't have to waste your breath on that second syllable! HA!
School is getting cool. :) I'm actually enjoying it. Classes are fun, stuff is cool. :)
Here you're encouraged to be creative, innovative, do things that are out of the ordinary. I like it, I love it.
:)
Today we're gonna retell the Cinderella project, which has like a RP twist. It's fun. :) It really is.
I miss the bitches!
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Woooooo first day of Year 2.
It feels so good to be more senior, rather than to be a freshie.
Today was kinda fun. Woodland's far away, but it's bearable. The campus's huge. Really. And it's only half built. Not as big as compared to SP or something, but it's relatively huge.
STA's going to be great. Sound rooms, Mac labs, wooot.
But problem based learning sucks. Really. :(
It was hectic for a first day. Was late, then during break got to see my bitches again. :)
The problem was pretty cool, then went for meeting. So many things in store for STA. It's really enjoyable.
The resident mascot's called STAmpy the robot, the students are called mobSTAs, the facils are gangSTAs. lol. so cute.
My teammates are okay. Not bad.
And I did photoshop/photography for the first problem.
Not bad, not bad.
:)
The best part? My girlfriend sent me to school . :) nyehnyehnyehnyehnyeh.
MY LAPTOP'S DYING ON MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
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I watched The Passion of Christ on cable just now.
I didn't catch the entire thing, but I saw the climax. It was so emotional and I felt so sad to see our Saviour being tortured just like that.
They whipped Him,
They mocked Him,
They spat at Him.
When He came to save us.
I felt so guilt ridden because He came to save us from our sins, and He had to go through all this pain and suffering, just for us. It shows just how much He loves us and how much He's willing to give up for us.
I felt like such an unclean being, watching Him get whipped and cut, carrying the cross that bears our sins. I felt so sad and remorseful.
He's the reason why we sleep so soundly at night. He's the reason why we're even here.
I love God! :) Thank you for giving up so much just for me. :)
Our God reigns! :)
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it's friday!
finally, a day of rest. rest to me now means no work + nothing starbucks paragon related. this coffee master thing is so... OMG LA. every bloody day i've got to study coffee. bleahhhh.
darling is sick, so we can't pah toh today. :(
meanwhile, i'm online and i'm watching bam! <3
nothing much these few days. work work work work.
school starts next week. and if i'm lucky, i might get into Tp after all!
they called and said that the course is full, but if anyone pulls out, i can get in.
:D
i feel like taking the risk and like, not going to RP. but i know i can't. i'd die if i couldn't get in and have no school.
oh well.
bye!
*
What the FUCK am i censoring myself for?
It's only a fucking trivial matter, we ALL pointed that out. So why the hell are you so pissed ANYWAY?!? I hate you, I really do.
I'm dissappointed. I thought that you were a better person than this. But again, I'm proved wrong.
I'm not remorseful or sad about what I said. I hope it stung. I WANT it to sting.
We tried to come to a compromise and make it up.
But obviously not everyone wanted to. You still fucking think you are right. You are NOT right. And guess what, your temper blew it. Why the hell should I even apologise anyway when you're not even willing to listen? It's like "Blabablahblah". You say your piece, but when it's your turn to listen, it's like, HAHAHA LAUGH LAUGH GIGGLE GIGGLE.
DON"T FUCKING WASTE MY TIME.
Just because you blew up, all this effort went to waste. It was about to be solved. It really was.
I'm not going to be missing you. You're not worth my time, tears or effort.
And I'm certain you won't be even thinking about me.
So go screw yourself. I fucking hate you now.
*
for a moment i thought it would work.
for a while i was willing to forgive and forget.
but now i know that it wasn't your intention,
i'm not gonna try anymore.
cause no one's going to miss me anyway.
*
Heya,
Haven't gotten the chance to blog properly and all.
Well, I changed my blog address 'cos I wanted to vent everything, my feelings and all, and yet not take part in a blog war. The situation's fucked up already. Why aggravate it?
In the span of less than a week, actually, it was more like 2 days. I've seen the ugly sides of the people all closest to me. And truth is, at the rate this is going, I'll never be able to look at anyone the same again.
I thought things were gonna just return to normal. Hell, it's only a misunderstanding, you know? But well I guess I'm wrong. A simple miscommunication turned into this huge mess. No one's budging, no one's forgiving, no one's reconciling. Would it hurt to forgive someone after like what, 4 years of friendship? Or does my being a friend mean so little to you.
Seriously, I was really hurt. I couldn't comprehend what was happening at all. I didn't think it was such a big of a deal, until everyone became cold and unfeeling towards me. I lowered my pride and sent an email, apologizing and also explaining my side of the story, and also I understood their side. But I guess, nothing worked.
It's been almost a week now. I'm past the crying. I'm past the part where I think about it all the damned time. It affected me so damned much I cried 3 days in a row. I was half-dead at work, exhausted from crying/not sleeping enough/working late nights + long hours.
By tomorrow it'll finally be a week. I don't see it going very far. My heart's turned cold and it's affecting my life in ways it shouldn't. Your closests making you cry? Absurd. I'm never gonna forget that Friday, and how it'll forever serve me as a good reminder of why you shouldn't put so much trust in people.
I've learnt my lesson, and after all this, I'm gonna take what I now know and grow stronger. I never want to feel what I felt again.
Darling and I were just informed 3 days ago that we've finally earned the chance to go to HQ next month and take part in the Coffee Master Challenge, after which, we'll be taking Learning Coach. Tons of partners I know are going for Coffee Master. I seriously do not want this to affect work. I know I can do it. It's gonna take so much effort, but I know I've got it in me. I've never achieved anything in my entire life. I won't let anything get in the way.
I can just almost taste victory in my mouth.
Plus I just got a new camera. :) My eyecandy's now my baby.
No but seriously, now I've found out who I can always count on. She's always been there for me. Her shoulder to cry on, warm arms that'll hold me, and she'll always back me up.
I love you darling, :)
*
if you don't want to be a part,
then i guess we'll just be apart.
yay coffee master,
boo podrey.
stop doing this to me,
i can't take it.
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