gosh it is just TOO easy to make a picture nice these days.
*
whoa, it's 8,
and i'm first in class!
dude this is weeeeeird!
ce qui?
*
balcony bar with the girls friday night,
with village/vi'llage/vill'age/the old marche before that.
yum soup, rosti, calamari and crepes!
then drinks,
cheers for jelly cocktails and great company!
let's do it again! :)
(don't you think it's artistic!)
cheers!
*
stop dying on me leh, blogger.
*
okay so you know i wanna grow long hair right,
was considering getting extensions, but for the price,
NAH.
so i photoshopped it.
here you go,
me, with LONG HAIR!
thanks to thesuperficial.com for nicky hilton's hair! :)
haha! damn, my photoshop skills need some brushing up.
tag please!
night all.
*
i'm getting so depressed that i'm fat,
i just got the brilliant-est idea.
i'll spend all my money, then go broke,
then starve, then loose weight!
ha, i'm genius.
*
walk away,
for one last time.
maybe that's the only thing that will make you see.
*
i'm so sad.
all day everyday,
i see pictures of stick thin insects.
insects with like, long flowing wavy hair,
and i'm not one.
i know i will never be one.
i hate it.
i hate it that i'm not thin,
i hate it that i can't be.
don't say, oh audrey, you're not fat.
maybe i should change that phrase to
i'm not perfect.
i want to be.
stick thin with long wavy hair.
long manicured nails and huge eyes.
perfect size B breasts and a flat tummy.
thin ankles and slim, never ending legs.
i hate the way i look.
i'll never get the legs, the eyes,
that i can't change.
but could you at least let me have a shot at being thin?
i don't want to be shadowed my this insecurity any more.
please, just let me.
*
i've decided to give internship a shot.
i don't wanna be a barista anymore.
i wanna have days off like normal people,
i don't want to spend my public hols OR saturdays working,
serving people who frankly, half of them don't deserve to be served.
i'm disgusted by the way they are.
mean and completely NOT understanding.
i wanna dye my hair the colour i like,
keep nails as long as i want, in the colour i desire.
not be ordered around by stupid people not worth my time.
anyway, there's something wrong with my tv,
the people are GREEN!!!
cheers!
*
i've decided.
audrey needs to loose weight
you are too fat audrey.
*
i wanna try getting long hair..
straight and long, with blunt bangs!
oh and i'm not gonna get contacts. why?
cause the iris of my eye is only 8.2,
while commercial lenses start at 8.6,
that's a 0.4 difference, which would make it extremely painful and difficult me to upkeep when i wear lenses.
so i got new glasses!
collecting them on thursday.
much love!
*
i am about to die.
my fucking cramps have hit again,
leaving me squirming in absolute torture.
fuck, just cut out my uterus,
would you?
*
i am starving.
BUT IT'S STEAMBOAT TONIGGGGHHHHHHHTT!
*
i'm really bored,
and i'm excited about getting lenses!
even though i'm no where near the optician, haha!
going on sunday i think!
so i'm making a list of what i want.
1. Focus Dailies Toric!
Perfect for my astig-matized eyes and my busy schedule!
2. Acuvue Advance with Hydraclear!
It's not dailies, but then it has the moisturizing effect, great for long days staring at the computer.
3. Freshlook Colourblends Toric!
Dispoable, coloured and for astigmatism! For the green eyes i've always wanted.
:)
i cannot wait.
so exciting!
*
to me, friendship, or friends rather, are here to provide each other with company, laughs, memories.
friends grow together.
friends laugh together.
friends provide shoulders.
through thick and thin.
friendship isn't meant for keeping people out.
friendship isn't meant for ostracizing.
if it was,
i'd rather not have you as a friend.
these recent series of events has led me to detest you all.
i always knew cheenapiangs sucked!
*
ha!
i've been a bad, bad girl.
it's thursday.
and i only went to school on monday!
feeling damn lazy on tuesday and wednesday morning.
and on thursday morning, yeah well.
i had mussels the previous night,
and woke up swollen. :(
damn fish and co.
yeah well,
i guess i'll be going to school tomorrow.
speaking of school,
i heard the most ridiculous rumour about me ever!
geez, making out with another butch in the school toilet?!
numero uno, the toilet is an absolutely disgusting place to make out with ANYBODY with.
numero dos, i hardly know any butches in RP. and in my opinion, 99% of them aren't the least bit handsome.
the only thing i'm feeling after hearing that 'rumour' was amused.
HAHA there's gossip about me!
and i would also like to own a pair of these!
i tried a pair in Rusty, and fell in love! so comfy!
UGG boots from victoriassecrets.com, $140, anybody? :)
oooo and also a new wallet to replace that ugh, plastic THING i've been using!
and i need to dye my hair again!
and i'm getting an adidas jacket!
and mummy may get me contacts!
and my piercing's being postponed again!
haha, i'm starting to sound like veruca salt.
"daddy, i WANT another pony!"
cheers!
edit! isn't this the coolest purse ever?!
it lights up in the dark so you'll never have trouble finding your make up in clubs!
am stoked about getting contacts! :D
*
yeah sure.
unreasonable and unappreciative.
thank you.
sure, go get married to your bloody job then.
i'm sure your job will pick up after you.
cheer you up when you're sad.
make lunch and transport it for you.
pay for dinner when you're broke.
wear a skirt just cause you like them.
when will you realise.
you can earn all the money in the world.
but maybe then, that person you earned all that money for,
won't be there anymore.
*
yay new blogskin!
well, being home alone makes you accomplish things.
like baking.
like html.
yawn.
whatever laaaaaaaaa!
*
i really want my piercing.
and i was just ranting to darling about how, if i ever have a kid in the future, i'll let them do whatever they want to their body.
you wann pierce your eyeball also can. tattoo a doraemon on your ass also can.
just make sure you'll be happy with that doraemon tattoo sixty years down the road when you're old, saggy and growing mould.
seriously, its MY body. why can't i poke holes through MY body?!
and yes, piercings ARE painful. so stop asking me if it's painful or not.
you think sticking a piece of metal though delicate parts of your body's gonna be like getting a massage from an Osim chair?
and i've been going mad over birkenstocks, so yay!
*
yes yes, i am still very much alive.
been down with throat infection! with flu! and fever!
:(
i miss school.
*
naughty girl.
*
If you could have the change one incident or one thing in your life, what would it be and why?
It happened just over 2 years ago, but I can still vividly remember it just like it happened yesterday.
It was just like any other Saturday. The drizzle showered lightly over the Seletar Hills area, just the way I liked it. It was my friend’s birthday party and I was extremely excited to be invited. She was ‘cool’ you see, and I was always just but the nerd, the wallflower Audrey that no one really cared about.
Just as I was about to leave, I heard shrills coming from downstairs. Probably just my mother again, I thought. My mother was known as a fierce woman, not to be messed with. In fact, she terrorized everyone – the neighbors, our relatives, Ah ma, Dad, my sisters and of course, me.
I knew that she was having a spat with her sister at that time, something about her sister influencing Dad to gamble his fortune away, but nothing could prepare me for the unfortunate events that followed.
As shrills turned into shrieks and the shrieks gave way to roars, I peeked my head from the balcony, curious to as what the racket was about.
Lo and behold, the sight of my aunt holding a kitchen cleaver, together with my two uncles, both shirtless, haughtily exhibiting their dragon/tiger/phoenix tattoos all over Singapore, JB and some say Batam. And then there was my mother, yielding a frying pan, yelling in Hokkien what sounded like she was going to sever all ties with my auntie and then call the press to earn a free handphone as well.
Tears just flowed from my eyes as the realization of the severity of the situation dawned on me. My first thought was to get away. Get as far away as possible from this devastation as possible. I peeled my face away from that wretched balcony and I turned around only to face my 2 younger sisters.
The big sister syndrome kicked in and I instinctively picked them up from the floor, hugged them and told the older one, “Stay here. Don’t leave the room. Mummy’s having a little argument. Just don’t leave the room okay?”
And then I fled.
I fled as fast as I ever imagined possible. To where, I didn’t know. My limbs moved like clockwork and my eyes leaked like a crack in a dam. Something else took over me, a state of hatred, a state of anger, a state of pure repulsion and detest for these revolting things I called family.
For once no one, not even Daddy dearest could feel the way I did on that fateful day. It drove me to hate my family, to not want to be a part of it, even to the point of being ashamed of it. I didn’t like them, and I didn’t want anything to do with them. Just the thought of that day makes me nauseated with absolute disgust at the type of person that would hold a knife at the neck of the flesh and blood that they shared, threatening to slaughter them like common pigs.
If only I could just click, and delete that instance from my memory. It was an awful, awful experience that I believe should never ever happen to anyone.
*
yet another sleepless night.
fuck man, hard, hard work.
i'm starting to feel stupid,
it's such a weird feeling!
i'm not in control anymore!
but... but...
I WANT TO BE ANAL.
arghhhhhhhaoweiano3eed!
reading that stupid problem as if it's like sanskrit or something.
*
i'm doing the cover for my scrapbook thingy.
i should NOT have waited til the last minute.
why audrey, WHY!
*
