from start to finish.

2007-01-09T20:38:00.000+08:00

2007-01-07T16:16:00.001+08:00

. gossip sites? CHECK
. friendster/fridae? CHECK
. blog hopped? CHECK
. spree-ed? CHECK
. looked at jeans? CHECK
. checked mail? CHECK
. looked for jobs? CHECK
. checked grades? CHECK

i've done almost every single thing it is possible to do with a laptop sitting at starbucks waiting for my girlfriend to be done working and i'm gonna bloody foam in the mouth just waiting with nothing to do while the damn wireless goes off every 3 minutes and my eyes are closing and my contacts feel like they're gonna dry up in my eyes and crack!

yes its not her fault but i need to fucking SHIT and no one's here to look after my laptop.

gahhhhh.

chill.
chill.

stupid fucking blogger.
i think i shall move blog host.

GAH!

2007-01-06T19:24:00.000+08:00

alcohol is scary.

half a jug of vodka lime soda, another vodka lime, and another bacardi coke, a sip of tequila pop and........................

all i remember is flashing bright lights
fat and botak ang moh deejay who played super hot trance
light sticks waving around
smoke and more smoke
feeling like falling
going toilet to camwhore
worrying about saph and her C
darling drinking 3 tequila pops, half a jug of vodka lime and still not getting high
laughing a lot
dancing with a big grin on my face
and losing my mind.

which was a great feeling. :)

ministry of sound
i'll remember that for life.
definitely going back. :D

oh, were YOU there? lol.

2007-01-04T23:41:00.000+08:00

wtf is wrong with blogger.

but i've got nothing to blog about leh.

anyway, i saw a china butch today.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAH.

2007-01-02T03:52:00.000+08:00

neeeeeeeed clubbinggggggggggggggggggggggggggg.

2007-01-01T06:07:00.000+08:00

thank you 2006, for teaching me so many things.

2006-12-30T01:34:00.000+08:00

HAHA MY ELF IS HERE AND I AM SO HAPPY.

2006-12-26T03:04:00.000+08:00

ok i know it's only 25th december,
but it's never too late to start making resolutions right?

. work tons this year, earn TONS of money and never let darling or me go hungry again
. buck up in school and show mr david cheng never to underestimate audrey tan
. go to bangkok :D

2006-12-24T03:31:00.000+08:00

hi there!

anyway, it's now officially christmas eve and here's my christmas presents!

remember mum's $100 spree?

here they are! from left to right, brown roxy halter, white pull & bear racerback, army green guess top and a striped/polka dotted bag from women's secret.

yours truly had the gargantuan task of wrapping my own present. so here's what i did! rolled them into nice sausages! see!

ok now it's nice, but kinda plain. so, add ribbons!

mmm then i put the tees inside my new bag. wanna see the INSIDE of my new bag? of course you do! :D

oh and the final result.

haha i think i've never had so much fun shopping for christmas. this year is probably the best year ever. because i know what i'm gonna get. hahah. :) love la.

anyway, here's the nicest wrapped present.

"my cutest goose, merry christmas! don't end up as christmas dinner cos i love you!"

from my darling. :)

yes, christmas is indeed a wonderful season.

2006-12-23T04:00:00.000+08:00

honey.
i'm gonna wake up early.
buy breakfast for you.
and surprise you at your door.
i love you.
and you don't know how much i do.
you deserve this.
and i've been putting it off for really, really long.

:)

2006-12-23T01:48:00.000+08:00

guess what. it's 3 days to christmas!

sadly i'm not really feeling christmas-y yet.

anway, about the money thing. mumsy gave me and my sister $100 each to spend, shopping spree. so i've been out and about trying to spend it, but so far i've only got a plain, basic racerback. that was yesterday's buy at Pull & Bear Vivo.

as for today, i blew $53 buckeroos on this AWESOME top at flash and splash. my first ever brown halter. my first ever brown thing! but it's hot, and i love it.

sadly i realised that actually, $100 isn't a lot. 2 tops cost $100. :( i swear i'm gonna save and spend! or perhaps starve and spend. that seems more do-able. haha.

oh yes. it was tempting to blow that $100 on a pair of Aldo heels. or a Guess bag. or a piercing! :)

the down side of it all was that i stupidly volunteered to bring my sister out alone. for 2 whole fucken days.

at least i still have about $30 to blow.
and i'm NOT bringing her out tmr.

ta.

2006-12-21T02:46:00.000+08:00

i know it's the christmas season,
and we're all supposed to be jolly and gay (HA!)

but recently all these money issues are really, really getting to me.
got like 500,000,000 more presents to buy.
and the amount left in my bank account is not even enough to withdraw.

goodness.
i really need a job.
this is damn depressing.
i'm not even able to eat and i have to buy presents for people.

but the best part about today was that

. it's our 21st!
. I GOT MY HOLGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

oh, i named it helga. :D helga tan the holga.
but i can't touch it til christmas. :(

back to the money woes!

2006-12-20T01:59:00.000+08:00

PLEASE!

stop boring me with your deep dark emotional, psychological, egomanical issues.
and the empty threats too.

because being a bitch is what i do best.

2006-12-19T01:08:00.000+08:00

What I've accomplished this holiday.

. sleep
. maintained waking up at 3pm for more than 2 weeks
. successfully drained out bank account
. found a new love for corn soup
. sell bikinis
. become a new L word fan

2006-12-18T03:23:00.000+08:00

disappunto.

io mi interrogo diverse volte e chiedo, perchè sono un tal vigliacco?

potete andare senza sosta,
spiegando i sensi che ho bisogno del miglioramento su ma non vi imbrogliate che questa lista non si concluda mai.

ho provato prego oggi a voi.
li ho resi felici per una punta,
sorpresendoli.

alla fine,
la mia soltanto ricompensa era affaticamento sleepy, stanco, desidera andare a casa.
siete soltanto come quello intorno me

yeah conosco che il lavoro è noioso.
ma abbia un cuore per la ragazza che ha dormito a 8am, non voi?

is it just me, or is the christmas season bringing more chill than cheer?
people rushing, pushing, shoving.
grumpy faces all around trying to finish their christmas shopping before the sales are over.

2006-12-16T23:50:00.000+08:00

the flu has made me become rudolph this christmas.

2006-12-16T17:06:00.000+08:00

zouk. :)

2006-12-12T03:18:00.000+08:00

i miss secondary school.
i miss sze.
i miss char.
i miss vinegar soup.
i miss compass point.
i miss my uniform.
i miss history class.
i miss neo-prints.
i miss SJC.
i miss passing notes.
i miss sneaking out of school to watch bad horror movies at Jeanette's house.
i miss trash talk.
i miss fatsy-patsy.
i miss church.
i miss choir.
i miss the sops.
i miss carolling.
i miss performing "Winter Wonderland".
i miss fuzzies.
i miss Jesus.
i miss monster cue.
i miss daddy.
i miss mummy.
i miss Sunday noons at Japanese buffets.
i miss having a family.
i miss watching football.
i miss writing Christmas Cards.
i miss receiving Christmas Cards.
i miss far east.
i miss studying at Captain Cock's.
i miss buying Christmas presents.
i miss thomson plaza.
i miss sneakily planning birthday parties during recess.
i miss being nerd-head kiat.

i miss being imperfect.

2006-12-11T05:20:00.001+08:00

am i that bad a girlfriend?

2006-12-10T21:53:00.001+08:00

tiger airway's having a 2c promotion.
2cents to go to bangkok.

so tempting.

but i'm broke.

i'm missing bangkok.

2006-12-10T03:10:00.000+08:00

whatever,
whatever,
whatever.

i love you.

it shouldn't matter.

22 months.
why do we still get so angry at each other so easily?
why, why, why.
i just want to slap you for it.

fuck.

anyway,
got to get myself a new job tomorrow.
or shall i say in 8 hours time.

RARGH.

i'm getting mouldy.

2006-12-09T04:09:00.000+08:00

dude i think my template changes are more exciting than my posts!

nicole richie. mmmm thinspiration.

nothing much,
lots to do tomorrow,
did tons today at vivo :)

love la.

2006-12-08T02:43:00.000+08:00

i've become such a demon.

since when did i become so materialistic?
and how did i ever allow this demon to come out?

why do i always compare myself to other people?
smarter, prettier, thinner than me?

its like an insatiable hunger,
i just want more, more more.
bags, skirts, tops, shoes,
you name it.
i want it.

just what is wrong with me.
its like an illness that i never knew i had.

why do i still sucumb then?
and why, does it in some sick way,
feel so great?

2006-12-05T14:28:00.000+08:00

i got sunburnt,
it's peeling and its fucking gross!

will peel it all off later.
its not christmas yet and i'm snowing.
HAHHAA

anyway talking about gross things,
i saw something fucking gross yesterday.

this stupid mouldy old tao huay of an auntie came on the bus.
she was wearing like damn tight pants and the tight pants like hugged every single crevice of her legs.
and when i mean every single crevice i mean even her fucking privates.

errrghhhh gross.
anyway i didn't get to watch girls out loud.
damn tired.

after school will be ikea,
tomorrow will be starting PP and studying at cathay,
then thursday will be open house,
and friday again with the girls,
saturday out again.

and.... this holiday will be a black hole sucking all my allowance away!

bye.

2006-12-04T23:17:00.001+08:00

fucking worst day ever in my entire life.

2006-12-04T15:48:00.000+08:00

i am sick of it.
stop making me sick of you too.

2006-11-29T12:32:00.000+08:00

i wanna pierce!
i wanna pierce!

eyebrows!

here i come!

erm yeah, maybe next week when allowance comes.

2006-11-27T15:06:00.001+08:00

i hate you.

2006-11-27T00:06:00.001+08:00

oh fuck..

i ate today.

2006-11-26T06:01:00.001+08:00

new skin!

this time, it's miss simpson!

but not really satisfied cause photobucket made the picture all grainy.

>:(

plus, here's all i want for christmas!
.1 hollister pearl micro mini
.2 abercrombie wendy micro mini
.3 gojane.com paisley dress

will update the list. :)

enjoy!

oh and TAG.

2006-11-26T01:21:00.000+08:00

i want to be anorexic.

food is evil.
food is evil.

no more food for you.

food is evil.

2006-11-26T00:46:00.000+08:00

tired. like real tired!

school sucks.
all i wanna do is spree everyday!
yawn.
mum's birthday today.
nothing much has been happening.

except i need moneeeeyyyyyy!
does anyone have job openings?
was thinking about working at some contact lens promotion thing...

haha can't think.
sorry. incubus's new album is out and i am STOKED! :D

2006-11-23T08:58:00.000+08:00

2006-11-21T15:12:00.000+08:00

hi!

last week was extremely fun.

we went to snow city and i experienced snow for the second time! :D
had tons of fun going up and down the slide, throwing snowballs at each other.
followed by a lovely dinner at IMM and DAISO! bought reindeer antlers! lol.

missed school yesterday and fetched her from school.

lovely lunch of chicken chop at biz park! then headed to vivo where we missed our movie. hahhaha. :) shopped a whole lot and had bakerz' inn and cedele for dinner. rushed to her house after to catch the season finale of top model. cabbed home.

i don't want this dreamy state to end. i hate coming to school. fucking politics and people whose faces i can't stand. its getting bitchy.

anyway, i got into media and entertainment so HOORAY FOR ME.

and boo for you.

2006-11-16T22:16:00.000+08:00

i've never liked the matrix, but you might find this interesting. :)

T202 Problem 8 RJ: "You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes." - Morpheus, Matrix 1999. Which pill would you take? Explain why?

'My right hand reached out, hovering over the blue pill, mind racing as to which to pick. I glanced and looked at Morpheus, searching his vacant face for the right answer.

'So, which will you choose?' Morpheus prompted, seemingly mocking my hesitation.

My gaze shifted back to the two pills, innocently lying on the fiberglass surface. Once again, I reached out for the red pill and picked it up in my hand.

'So, it's the red then?' Morpheus let out a puzzled look.

'Yes, it's the red for me. I don’t want this story to end Morpheus – I'm not one who would take the blue pill and return to my comfort of not knowing. I'm willing to give this so-called Wonderland a shot and find out more, what goes on behind it, even if it means I won't like what I see. I'll take the red pill Morpheus, if you’re wiling to show me.'

2006-11-16T12:03:00.000+08:00

fuck i hate fake-os.

and i asked mum if i could drive.
she said.... learn yes, car maybe not.

grrrrr.

still pissed with the fake-o.

AND I'M SICK.

2006-11-13T09:58:00.000+08:00

i'm quite tired!
it has been a hectic, hectic weekend.
with tons of shopping done.
haha.

damn tired.
okay.

bye.

2006-11-12T01:11:00.000+08:00

vivo was such a let down.

yes the first floor was good,
shopping heaven.
i got a gap top!
but the rest of the levels got...
BORING.

and its terribly small.
the size is so exaggerated man.

geez.
shall stick to ONLINE SHOPPING.

2006-11-11T00:02:00.000+08:00

ok so i'm like addicted to online shopping.

AND I LOVE IT.

vivo tmr,
with better days.

cheers.

2006-11-08T12:40:00.000+08:00

in a span of 3 days, i have got:

a new pair of m)phosis wedges,
a new hamster (VANILLA CATHERINE SAMANTHA LEE!)
a new lip smackers strawberry,
a new Holga 120 CFN,
a new pair of birkenstocks.
a new lease on our relationship.

i am a happy girl.

2006-11-07T15:14:00.000+08:00

i wish it wasn't so hard for me to tell you what i truly feel.

2006-11-07T09:30:00.000+08:00

there she goes,
there she goes again.

2006-11-05T23:59:00.000+08:00

goodbye, forever.

2006-11-05T03:04:00.000+08:00

i need a BETTER paying job.

something that doesn't require me to get tired all the time,
something that doesn't require me to get pushed around by people who won't know fuck.
something that doesn't require me to work on more than 1/2 my weekends.

cause i still wanna spend time with darling.
and yet... i need the CASH.

other than that, i'm pretty open! :D

2006-11-01T05:08:00.000+08:00

don't you just hate it when you read/hear broken english?

geez i'm not saying we've got to use bombastic words,
or speak like the queen,
it just pisses the HELL out of me when i hear bad grammar.

is it that hard to get simple rules right?
i mean, doesn't it SOUND weird when you hear
"the skirt got a hole one."

GOT?!!

it's,"the skirt HAS a hole."
you disgusting imbecile.

i mean, if it sounds wrong,
then something IS wrong,
with your grammar that is.

its a different matter when you're speaking
(YES, speaking and not TALKING)
and when writing.
you might be able to get away with bad grammar while speaking.
people might not have time to notice the grammatical inferno that all you cheena piangs choose to torment me with.
but when you write,
how are people going to take you seriously when you spell "stylish" as "stylist"?
gosh.

and if you're wondering what ticked me off,
go to sg.auctions.yahoo.com and look at the grammatical nightmare that those people have.

EESH.

2006-11-01T03:33:00.000+08:00

i have my eyes set on:

that pair of m(phosis wedges
a new pair of pointy flats

:D

2006-10-30T13:56:00.000+08:00

gosh it is just TOO easy to make a picture nice these days.

2006-10-30T08:09:00.000+08:00

whoa, it's 8,
and i'm first in class!

dude this is weeeeeird!

ce qui?

2006-10-29T04:08:00.000+08:00

balcony bar with the girls friday night,
with village/vi'llage/vill'age/the old marche before that.
yum soup, rosti, calamari and crepes!
then drinks,
cheers for jelly cocktails and great company!

let's do it again! :)

(don't you think it's artistic!)

cheers!

2006-10-29T02:21:00.000+08:00

stop dying on me leh, blogger.

2006-10-27T04:16:00.000+08:00

okay so you know i wanna grow long hair right,
was considering getting extensions, but for the price,
NAH.
so i photoshopped it.

here you go,
me, with LONG HAIR!

thanks to thesuperficial.com for nicky hilton's hair! :)

haha! damn, my photoshop skills need some brushing up.

tag please!

night all.

2006-10-27T02:20:00.000+08:00

i'm getting so depressed that i'm fat,
i just got the brilliant-est idea.

i'll spend all my money, then go broke,
then starve, then loose weight!

ha, i'm genius.

2006-10-27T00:45:00.000+08:00

walk away,
for one last time.
maybe that's the only thing that will make you see.

2006-10-24T02:37:00.000+08:00

i'm so sad.
all day everyday,
i see pictures of stick thin insects.
insects with like, long flowing wavy hair,
and i'm not one.
i know i will never be one.
i hate it.
i hate it that i'm not thin,
i hate it that i can't be.
don't say, oh audrey, you're not fat.
maybe i should change that phrase to
i'm not perfect.
i want to be.
stick thin with long wavy hair.
long manicured nails and huge eyes.
perfect size B breasts and a flat tummy.
thin ankles and slim, never ending legs.

i hate the way i look.
i'll never get the legs, the eyes,
that i can't change.
but could you at least let me have a shot at being thin?
i don't want to be shadowed my this insecurity any more.
please, just let me.

2006-10-24T02:03:00.000+08:00

i've decided to give internship a shot.
i don't wanna be a barista anymore.
i wanna have days off like normal people,
i don't want to spend my public hols OR saturdays working,
serving people who frankly, half of them don't deserve to be served.
i'm disgusted by the way they are.
mean and completely NOT understanding.
i wanna dye my hair the colour i like,
keep nails as long as i want, in the colour i desire.
not be ordered around by stupid people not worth my time.

anyway, there's something wrong with my tv,
the people are GREEN!!!

cheers!

2006-10-23T21:57:00.000+08:00

i've decided.

audrey needs to loose weight
you are too fat audrey.

2006-10-23T19:52:00.000+08:00

i wanna try getting long hair..
straight and long, with blunt bangs!

oh and i'm not gonna get contacts. why?

cause the iris of my eye is only 8.2,
while commercial lenses start at 8.6,
that's a 0.4 difference, which would make it extremely painful and difficult me to upkeep when i wear lenses.

so i got new glasses!
collecting them on thursday.

much love!

2006-10-21T18:56:00.000+08:00

i am about to die.

my fucking cramps have hit again,
leaving me squirming in absolute torture.
fuck, just cut out my uterus,
would you?

2006-10-20T16:05:00.000+08:00

i am starving.

BUT IT'S STEAMBOAT TONIGGGGHHHHHHHTT!

2006-10-20T13:27:00.000+08:00

i'm really bored,
and i'm excited about getting lenses!
even though i'm no where near the optician, haha!
going on sunday i think!

so i'm making a list of what i want.

1. Focus Dailies Toric!
Perfect for my astig-matized eyes and my busy schedule!

2. Acuvue Advance with Hydraclear!
It's not dailies, but then it has the moisturizing effect, great for long days staring at the computer.

3. Freshlook Colourblends Toric!
Dispoable, coloured and for astigmatism! For the green eyes i've always wanted.

:)

i cannot wait.
so exciting!

2006-10-20T09:13:00.000+08:00

to me, friendship, or friends rather, are here to provide each other with company, laughs, memories.

friends grow together.
friends laugh together.
friends provide shoulders.
through thick and thin.

friendship isn't meant for keeping people out.
friendship isn't meant for ostracizing.

if it was,
i'd rather not have you as a friend.

these recent series of events has led me to detest you all.

i always knew cheenapiangs sucked!

2006-10-20T01:57:00.000+08:00

ha!

i've been a bad, bad girl.

it's thursday.
and i only went to school on monday!

feeling damn lazy on tuesday and wednesday morning.
and on thursday morning, yeah well.
i had mussels the previous night,
and woke up swollen. :(

damn fish and co.

yeah well,
i guess i'll be going to school tomorrow.

speaking of school,
i heard the most ridiculous rumour about me ever!
geez, making out with another butch in the school toilet?!

numero uno, the toilet is an absolutely disgusting place to make out with ANYBODY with.
numero dos, i hardly know any butches in RP. and in my opinion, 99% of them aren't the least bit handsome.

the only thing i'm feeling after hearing that 'rumour' was amused.

HAHA there's gossip about me!

and i would also like to own a pair of these!
i tried a pair in Rusty, and fell in love! so comfy!

UGG boots from victoriassecrets.com, $140, anybody? :)

oooo and also a new wallet to replace that ugh, plastic THING i've been using!
and i need to dye my hair again!
and i'm getting an adidas jacket!
and mummy may get me contacts!
and my piercing's being postponed again!

haha, i'm starting to sound like veruca salt.

"daddy, i WANT another pony!"

cheers!

edit! isn't this the coolest purse ever?!

it lights up in the dark so you'll never have trouble finding your make up in clubs!

am stoked about getting contacts! :D

2006-10-18T02:14:00.000+08:00

yeah sure.

unreasonable and unappreciative.

thank you.

sure, go get married to your bloody job then.

i'm sure your job will pick up after you.
cheer you up when you're sad.
make lunch and transport it for you.
pay for dinner when you're broke.
wear a skirt just cause you like them.

when will you realise.

you can earn all the money in the world.
but maybe then, that person you earned all that money for,
won't be there anymore.

2006-10-18T00:13:00.000+08:00

yay new blogskin!

well, being home alone makes you accomplish things.

like baking.
like html.

yawn.

whatever laaaaaaaaa!

2006-10-14T01:45:00.000+08:00

i really want my piercing.

and i was just ranting to darling about how, if i ever have a kid in the future, i'll let them do whatever they want to their body.

you wann pierce your eyeball also can. tattoo a doraemon on your ass also can.

just make sure you'll be happy with that doraemon tattoo sixty years down the road when you're old, saggy and growing mould.

seriously, its MY body. why can't i poke holes through MY body?!

and yes, piercings ARE painful. so stop asking me if it's painful or not.

you think sticking a piece of metal though delicate parts of your body's gonna be like getting a massage from an Osim chair?

and i've been going mad over birkenstocks, so yay!

2006-10-12T16:29:00.000+08:00

yes yes, i am still very much alive.

been down with throat infection! with flu! and fever!

:(

i miss school.

2006-10-05T15:29:00.000+08:00

naughty girl.

2006-10-02T20:26:00.000+08:00

If you could have the change one incident or one thing in your life, what would it be and why?

It happened just over 2 years ago, but I can still vividly remember it just like it happened yesterday.

It was just like any other Saturday. The drizzle showered lightly over the Seletar Hills area, just the way I liked it. It was my friend’s birthday party and I was extremely excited to be invited. She was ‘cool’ you see, and I was always just but the nerd, the wallflower Audrey that no one really cared about.

Just as I was about to leave, I heard shrills coming from downstairs. Probably just my mother again, I thought. My mother was known as a fierce woman, not to be messed with. In fact, she terrorized everyone – the neighbors, our relatives, Ah ma, Dad, my sisters and of course, me.

I knew that she was having a spat with her sister at that time, something about her sister influencing Dad to gamble his fortune away, but nothing could prepare me for the unfortunate events that followed.

As shrills turned into shrieks and the shrieks gave way to roars, I peeked my head from the balcony, curious to as what the racket was about.

Lo and behold, the sight of my aunt holding a kitchen cleaver, together with my two uncles, both shirtless, haughtily exhibiting their dragon/tiger/phoenix tattoos all over Singapore, JB and some say Batam. And then there was my mother, yielding a frying pan, yelling in Hokkien what sounded like she was going to sever all ties with my auntie and then call the press to earn a free handphone as well.

Tears just flowed from my eyes as the realization of the severity of the situation dawned on me. My first thought was to get away. Get as far away as possible from this devastation as possible. I peeled my face away from that wretched balcony and I turned around only to face my 2 younger sisters.

The big sister syndrome kicked in and I instinctively picked them up from the floor, hugged them and told the older one, “Stay here. Don’t leave the room. Mummy’s having a little argument. Just don’t leave the room okay?”

And then I fled.

I fled as fast as I ever imagined possible. To where, I didn’t know. My limbs moved like clockwork and my eyes leaked like a crack in a dam. Something else took over me, a state of hatred, a state of anger, a state of pure repulsion and detest for these revolting things I called family.

For once no one, not even Daddy dearest could feel the way I did on that fateful day. It drove me to hate my family, to not want to be a part of it, even to the point of being ashamed of it. I didn’t like them, and I didn’t want anything to do with them. Just the thought of that day makes me nauseated with absolute disgust at the type of person that would hold a knife at the neck of the flesh and blood that they shared, threatening to slaughter them like common pigs.

If only I could just click, and delete that instance from my memory. It was an awful, awful experience that I believe should never ever happen to anyone.

2006-10-02T12:56:00.000+08:00

yet another sleepless night.

fuck man, hard, hard work.

i'm starting to feel stupid,
it's such a weird feeling!
i'm not in control anymore!
but... but...
I WANT TO BE ANAL.
arghhhhhhhaoweiano3eed!

reading that stupid problem as if it's like sanskrit or something.

2006-10-02T00:59:00.000+08:00

i'm doing the cover for my scrapbook thingy.

i should NOT have waited til the last minute.

why audrey, WHY!

2006-09-29T08:45:00.000+08:00

i need closure, please.

2006-09-27T16:07:00.000+08:00

today was photography,
was supposed to be a great class.
i ended up having a fucking shitty time.

it wasn't supposed to turn out that way.
damn am i bad?
really, tell me.

i want an slr.

fuck it.

2006-09-25T21:12:00.000+08:00

this entire singapore idol fiasco is fucking amusing me.

it's just a replay of 2005's Singapore Idol.

A female in 3rd place.
A chinese rocker/ah beng and a malay r&b/maat vying for the first place.

god singapore has such bad taste.

AND THE IDOL FINALISTS WERE FUCKING LIP SYNCHING!

18

2006-09-25T14:25:00.000+08:00

yay so many people remembered! :)

daddy, mummy, char, sze, janice, denise, michelle, shuhua, siti, alex, joey, mabes, sabby, evan, wansia, roy, yongxuan, leela, bear.

and of course, darling.

:)

the 12 o clock alarm, the lovely cake, the Lee Hwa necklace, the single white long stemmed rose, the weird tasting cheese pizza, the lovely chocolate frappuccino, the hilarious movie, the taxi ride to an undisclosed destination, the seafood dinner -kangkong, you tiao, prawns, crabs, and sweet nothings by the beach.

i love you. :)

edit/ and i'm sorry i don't have any photos from bangkok, i was seriously too busy shopping. :) sorry!

eve

2006-09-22T17:44:00.000+08:00

just about... 6 hours left before my birthday.

yawn. i feel OLD.

:)

and there's this bugger here who refuses to give up the power plug.

EXCUSE ME, STARBUCKS PROPERTYYYYY!

rahhh! 6 minutes left :( whine whine!

2006-09-21T14:23:00.000+08:00

today was a great first day of school!

and it hasn't even finished yet.

i woke up on time, bathed and left on time,
met bel on the bus, got to school on time,
went to IT helpdesk cause i was a little early,
got my laptop into RP domain
and today's filming with mabes, sabby and auntie deanie.

yay!

:)

2006-09-20T04:08:00.000+08:00

the laptop's gone mad.

and i am getting a new one!!!

:)

2006-09-18T19:55:00.000+08:00

hey!

just got back from bangkok! :)

4 whole days of nothing but shopping, shopping and eating! omg omg! :)

waaahhh like, 11 thousand tops, 4 thousand skirts, 2 thousand clutches, 3 thousand bikinis! :) i am such a happy bimbo.

well the plane ride back from the new Suvarnabhumi airport wasn't as great. the airport was PERFECT, modern, new, could really SMELL the fresh paint. yeah but it wasn't completed yet so yeah. anyway, the thing that spoit the ride home most was the fact that the plane was completely filled with REAL CHEENA PIANGS. fuck i wanted to jump right off!

each one of them were like damn fucking irritating by themself. put them together and you've got a nuclear bomb. they were late to board, made a fucking ruckus, bought every single thing on the food carts (?) that by the time it reached my seat, there was nothing left.

oh, and god bless your poor soul if you've got a window seat and your darling cheena piang next to you doesn't. he'll keep fucking trying to press his face as close to the window as possible to see the plane take off and land (HAHHAHA SUAH KOOOO). a fellow singaporean in front of me got so pissed he changed his seat. and guess what cheena piang did?

HE RUSHED TO GRAB THE SINGAPOREAN'S WINDOW SEAT!

jesus, makes me glad i was born and bred in singapore.

anyway, i'm tired.

bye! :)

2006-09-12T04:25:00.000+08:00

hi!

anyway, my mum got me a fucking epilator for my birthday. to rip hair from my legs out of those darling pores and leave me crying in sorrowful pain, how nice for an 18th birthday!

fine, it's kinda nice of her to get me something to expensive, since we've been sort of quarrelling for the past 18 years or so. so yep.

darling and i met saph and michelle today, had dim sum MMMPH! and went around running errands even though it was saph's birthday! lol. hung around town and went to carrefour and darling got me a SPLIT ENDER!

yeah, its one of those tacky TV innovations things, but it really, really works! haha! darling helped me to kill those wretched buggers off. If i had a dollar for every piece, i'd be travelling to bangkok on SIA, first class man.

oh yes, by the way, i'll be leaving this thursday!!! :D

okay, just wanted to tell you guys about the amazing split-ender.

haha. love la!

2006-09-10T02:28:00.000+08:00

2006-09-10T02:12:00.000+08:00

aww darling.

you went to sleep.

2006-09-06T02:25:00.000+08:00

i'm really amused at all this IMF shit.

so many starbucks people were sent for classes for GEMS,
thousands of banners with "Singapore welcomes ...."
orchard road turning more and more into an orchard with all these people putting flowers,
you know, partners at Suntec have to wear nametags just for security reasons!

i'm so amused!

Singaporeans everywhere are running around like clockwork mice.

and it's all going to be over in TEN DAYS.

geez.

2006-09-04T03:15:00.000+08:00

could you stop fucking copying me, FUCKWIT!?

2006-09-04T01:27:00.000+08:00

hello! :)

so, spent friday night at grace's. her house is hot, i swear. people got drunk, cooked, ate, did retarded things, played truth or dare and ended up frenching paulynn. lol. so that rounds up the total number of people i've kissed to 2. lol! if only truth or dare was always that exciting.

can't wait til i turn 18, which will be in... approximately 3 weeks time! :D

speaking of birthdays. I WANT MY TATTOOOOOO! :)

was just looking at some photos and i realise i need to shed my tons man. :( my body is as big as a ship i swear, superstar virgo man.

anyway, i miss E26Q already! :) can't wait for the chalet, though i'm not totally sure if i'm gonna be staying over. :( darling's got birthday plans you see.

and yes, BANGKOK is confirmed hoo! :)

alright, that's it for the updates.

loves.

2006-08-31T03:16:00.000+08:00

okay, where were we world?

ah yes. the past week since the holidays started has been nothing but hectic! work, work, work. my black apron's growing on me! :) i'm getting smarter day by day and thinking of climbing higher to become a district coffee master teehee! :)

meanwhile, my bangkok trip is confirmed, though not booked. :( thats sad. anyway, i'll be going on an extremely tight budget. gah hate it! at least i'll be right back in bangkok yay! shopshopshopshop til you drop!

speaking of shopping, darling bought me new heels! :D mwah!

yup yup. a few nights ago a dreamt that i got my tongue pierced. man it was damn realistic! could practically feel the barbell in my tongue. hahah but the piercing didn't hurt! lol. and now i really want it. :( the first ever piercing that i wanted and i don't have it! rar! :(

plus it just hit me that i'll be 18 in a matter of 3 weeks. that really is kinda cool, but i don't want it to last forever! i liked being 17!

anyway, met chris and mike at PS the other day. was really nice to see old friends, even if it only was for 5 minutes. :) doubt they'd be reading this anyway. but that really put a smile on my face.

it's 3:46, i should really be sleeping.

ciao.

2006-08-27T23:32:00.000+08:00

jesus, it's been a fucking bad day.

let's just... disappear.

2006-08-27T06:12:00.000+08:00

i felt a surge of nostalgia.
and i dug these up.

i wanna take more... :(

2006-08-27T04:03:00.000+08:00

okay, it's 4 am and i am not the least bit sleepy!

fine, maybe a TAD, but it's only a teensy weensy bit. :)

had work today. four hours of hand-cramping, smile-plastered-on-face, being-polite-but-inwardly-cursing, excruciatingly boring hours of mooncake sampling! >:(

experiencing all those cheapos just practically stealing all those samples makes me really embarrassed to be a singaporean at times. some people actually pretend to listen to me yak and then just make off with the tiny pieces of heaven. chao cheebye! it was four hours of seat/water/food deprived work okay! make me waste my bloody breath only.

had "dinner" and went to look look see see.

yup, strolled around and guess what darling and i er, lookedlooked sawsaw?

EMMA!

who was innocently getting her piercing and HAHA BOY WAS SHE BRAVE!

:)

okay, i shall now do more mindless friendster user profile vouyering and stuff.
maybe i'll fall asleep soon.

ta!

2006-08-21T15:35:00.001+08:00

fuck man, lava if you hate me, just say so leh!

in school today.

had a great time with darling yesterday! :) one and a half years man. yay and i got my rook pierced! and hp almost made it a double piercing cause of some freak accident.

hope it'll turn out good anyway! :) hoping it won't die on me again!

lol just presented and sat next to lava. i've never realised how... LARGE he was.

hungry hungry!!!!!!

yay going to darling's to watch top model later.

mwah today is a happy day!

2006-08-21T15:35:00.000+08:00

2006-08-17T15:56:00.000+08:00

want

PIERCE!

2006-08-16T01:48:00.000+08:00

my reply for a certain facilitator's evaluation.

The facilitator can improve by…
. telling us exactly what "the real world" is, and not expecting us to be as if we are in "the real world", when we really do not have any clue. Students come to learn and to find out, facilitators are here to help us guide us and help prepare us for this "real world".

bang, bang, BANG.

2006-08-13T18:37:00.000+08:00

so it's sunday.

saturday was spent rotting in GEMS class, with a bunch of other partners, all of which whom i don't know.

went down to store and got my store's thingy done. :)

came home at 12+ after waiting for half a fucking hour for the bus.
slept at 2 plus.

supposed to be at GEMS this morning, but darling didn't wake me.

spent my "morning", meaning 530 til now, eating my day old carrot cake, ribena, reading the life section of the papers and then blog surfing.

gonna bathe now.

cheers to a mundane sunday.

2006-08-08T19:11:00.000+08:00

me "darling, you said you will always support me in whatever i decide to do right?"

darling "yah."

me "so if my life's ambition is to become a tai-tai, then you have no choice but to support me and help me to fufill my life's ambition as a tai-tai by giving me more money to go shopping, RIGHT?"

darling "YOU AH!"

2006-08-08T14:59:00.000+08:00

we're yet again reaching the end of sem 1.

seriously, i'm really, really sad to leave this class.
god knows why everyone else in STA, facilitators included, hate us.

i've been trying to think of reasons why people would hate us, and the only reason would be that if you can't be us, then you just hate us.

it's been a great 14 weeks, and i really hate to leave. :( i know half the time i've been missing class, but it's been great being here! :)

i feel so sad that i have to leave, and face the big bad world of the rest of the STA. unfortunately, change is a must here, no matter how much i hate it to be.

i'm in the midst of the change.
becoming more mature, older, wiser.
i'm leaving the old, juvenile, kiddish me and i like it.
each snip cuts the old memories and throws them away, leaving them behind,
each new day is like a wave, it brings new memories to shore and washes away the old ones, dragging them into the sea, never to be found again.

you and i know that those times will never come back.
nothing can change the way that things are now
nothing can ever bring it back to shore.

no one ever intended for it to go that way i'm hoping
but now that it has, i can only sit

no doubt it has changed me to depths unimaginable.
perhaps it's the cause for this change.

but still,
i'm changing
maybe for the better
hopefully not for the worse

arrivederci my friends.
maybe, someday, you'll see the old me back again.

2006-08-08T11:37:00.000+08:00

hey, i am in school again!

today our class is doing national day. we're all in red and white. lol. i wore a red ribbon as a belt with my white top and shorts to avoid looking ike a flag.

seriously. yawn!

some people are so action.

i'm getting my hair done on thursday! dark and white chocolate, hopefully? :)

i miss darling.

2006-08-05T00:55:00.000+08:00

i am bored.

woke up at 5 today, so pretty obviously missed school.

i slept way too much, now i can't get to sleep!

plus i've got to wake up at 7 tmr, gonna coach some big shot guy coming to join starbucks.

hmmm.

i've got nothing to do.

i wanna go out!

i wanna do new things!

shopping! tanning!

god i sound like a total brainwashed bimbo!

i wanna eat fried tofu!

please?

2006-08-02T22:06:00.000+08:00

whoopdeedo

i just spent a day lazing around with darling at her club,
tanning,
jumping into the water when it gets too cold,
devouring chicken wings,
drinking coke,
swimming 7.82 laps,
falling asleep,
cam whoring,
and finally, the jacuzzi.

mmmmmmmmm

i feel like a true tai-tai.

:D

2006-08-01T18:29:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wonder if i'm a dispensable human being.

i wonder if i just suddenly go on to that happy place called heaven, will people miss me? will they remember me? will they wish that i was still alive?

i don't mean i want to be a person like lee kwan yew, gain Singapore's independance and made Singapore successful and what not. i don't wanna be a celebrity either.

i just want to know if i've changed anyone's life, if people will come to my funeral and discuss the great things about me.

or if i am dispensable. if no one will remember me. if i am just one ordinary singaporean out of the 4 million others.

:(

will you remember me?

2006-08-01T10:51:00.000+08:00

what a fucking bad morning

i didn't charge my phone. the battery died and there was no alarm.

woke up to dad screaming "you like that, might as well not go to school ah!"

mum refused to drive me to school or to the mrt.

had to take a cause it's hwee ling teaching today. i took 14 dollars to get here.

i opened the door and the first thing i saw was hwee ling's newly shaven head.

she looks so... ROUND.

on another note.

i am just feeling so down and all.

i just feel like running to orchard and getting a tattoo.

there was a false alarm that we had to retake the past modules that we scored D for. which isn't fucking fair!

well we don't have to anyway. not unless you got less than 2.0 for your GPA.

history of the arts.

poo.

can't my parents just accept me for the free spirit that i am? i am happy the way that i'm living my life. i don't steal, kill, drink, smoke or stick my head in the toilet every week. yes i do come out late and i don't talk to them much.

who can i blame but them? everything that they've done and are doing is driving me away from them, to find solace outside and escape from everything that's happening.

just love me for who i am.